If you’ve ever blogged, tweeted or posted on Facebook, you’ve had a hater.
You know you have.
(And if you haven’t, you probably aren’t trying very hard – hey don’t hate the player, hate the game.)
But it never seems to fail, there always seems to be that one random person who does a quick drive by out of nowhere, giving a “contrarian” point of view, leaving you staring at the screen like a deer in the headlights as you read it, blinking repeatedly, slack-jawed, with your teeth on your keyboard.
What to do?
Should you respond?
Should you bitch slap them back?
Should you belittle their verbal attack with one of your own?
I asked Jonathan Fields about this, and he told me he was lucky, because his community sort of protects the blog better than he ever could. Which is great for my friend Jonathan, but what about the little people?
For example, one time I innocently ran a LEGITIMATE contest at my Facebook fan page looking for writers (after getting really upset so many good writers were not being paid what they were worth). I enlisted my good friend, biz partner and awesome writer Sean Platt to help find a few good writers – we were on a mission to find some up and comers and do some good for them – or die trying!
(Admittedly, in the rush to put our capes on we may not have created the best system for accepting applications, so I can see why I received some questions validating this was a real role call for talent…)
But one person, whom I’ve never met, with grammar my 2nd grader would be embarrassed to use on the school bus, verbally vomited on me with no facts to support his spur of the moment viewpoint, basically shouting to the world I was a snake-oil salesman who should be killed and left for dead.
Just so we are clear, if you knew me well, you’d know at least 2 things…
- Most of my friends would consider me one of the most honest and generous people they know.
- Those same friends also know me well enough to not (ever) put me on their top 10 list of “bears you want to poke”.
You see, I grew up poor and even though I have “made it” by anyone’s standards, when push comes to shove, an undeserved attack on my integrity will have my ears burning in seconds with my eyes seeing nothing but red and throw me right into a full blown hillbilly rage if I’m not careful. (You can take the girl out of Joplin, but you will never take the Joplin out of the girl…and I can back that s^&* up too.)
So what’s the white trash cowgirl in me to do?
Be the bigger person by turning my cheek and passing up the opportunity to have an “energetic” (or snarky) exchange?
A friend sent me a link on this very topic and I hate to admit it (no pun intended) the Haters video by Katt Williams had me howling as he sums up his feelings on haters in about 54 seconds in this popular video (Warning: cuss words and racial slurs, not for the politically correct!). In summary, and I’m just paraphrasing (if you’ve seen the video you’ll know why), Katt believes if you ain’t got no haters you ain’t trying.
Granted you’d never see this video at Blog World as food for thought, but it’s certainly something to consider, don’t you think???
Seriously, I really want to hear your opinion, do Katt Wiliams and Oscar Wilde who said “Make them love you or hate you, but never leave them indifferent” have it right? Is having haters a way you know you’ve “arrived”?
And even more importantly, how do you handle it? What do you do when you are hated by a hater?
Do you try to turn it around, do you shut it down, or do you just pretend it never happened?
My experience has shown me certain people are worth the deep dive into a conversation to air out the differences in opinions, while others are not worth the time it takes to hit delete. But how do you know for sure?
Should you just take your mom’s advice and if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all?
Maria Ogneva from Yammer has an excellent post at Mashable with some great advice on the proper way to handle these situations and I’m pretty sure while she isn’t quite seeing it like Katt Williams, she does show you how to make some lemonade out of lemons…
Brands try to inspire excitement among their communities so that their fans and supporters will do the selling for them. That’s called advocacy, and it’s much more powerful than self-promotion. There are of course many ways to cultivate that fan base and get your advocates motivated
On the flip side, however, are “badvocates” –- the folks who spread negative comments about you with their networks. For example, Kevin Smith’s experience with Southwest Airlines.
It’s important for any business learn how to handle this badvocacy. To do so, you must first understand its causes.
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