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To Hate Or Not To Hate The Haters? (LOL video included)

by Lori Taylor · 19 comments

i love haters who hate my brand

If you’ve ever blogged, tweeted or posted on Facebook, you’ve had a hater.

You know you have.

(And if you haven’t, you probably aren’t trying very hard – hey don’t hate the player, hate the game.)

But it never seems to fail, there always seems to be that one random person who does a quick drive by out of nowhere, giving a “contrarian” point of view, leaving you staring at the screen like a deer in the headlights as you read it, blinking repeatedly, slack-jawed, with your teeth on your keyboard.

What to do?

Should you respond?

Should you bitch slap them back?

Should you belittle their verbal attack with one of your own?

I asked Jonathan Fields about this, and he told me he was lucky, because his community sort of protects the blog better than he ever could.  Which is great for my friend Jonathan, but what about the little people?

For example, one time I innocently ran a LEGITIMATE contest at my Facebook fan page looking for writers (after getting really upset so many good writers were not being paid what they were worth).  I enlisted my good friend, biz partner and awesome writer Sean Platt to help find a few good writers – we were on a mission to find some up and comers and do some good for them – or die trying!

(Admittedly, in the rush to put our capes on we may not have created the best system for accepting applications, so I can see why I received some questions validating this was a real role call for talent…)

But one person, whom I’ve never met, with grammar my 2nd grader would be embarrassed to use on the school bus, verbally vomited on me with no facts to support his spur of the moment viewpoint, basically shouting to the world I was a snake-oil salesman who should be killed and left for dead.

Really?

Just so we are clear, if you knew me well, you’d know at least 2 things…

  1. Most of my friends would consider me one of the most honest and generous people they know.
  2. Those same friends also know me well enough to not (ever) put me on their top 10 list of “bears you want to poke”.

You see, I grew up poor and even though I have “made it” by anyone’s standards, when push comes to shove, an undeserved attack on my integrity will have my ears burning in seconds with my eyes seeing nothing but red and throw me right into a full blown hillbilly rage if I’m not careful.  (You can take the girl out of Joplin, but you will never take the Joplin out of the girl…and I can back that s^&* up too.)

So what’s the white trash cowgirl in me to do?

Be the bigger person by turning my cheek and passing up the opportunity to have an “energetic” (or snarky) exchange?

A friend sent me a link on this very topic and I hate to admit it (no pun intended) the Haters video by  Katt Williams had me howling as he sums up his feelings on haters in about 54 seconds in this popular video (Warning: cuss words and racial slurs, not for the politically correct!). In summary, and I’m just paraphrasing (if you’ve seen the video you’ll know why), Katt believes if you ain’t got no haters you ain’t trying.

 

Granted you’d never see this video at Blog World as food for thought, but it’s certainly something to consider, don’t you think???

Seriously, I really want to hear your opinion, do Katt Wiliams and Oscar Wilde who said “Make them love you or hate you, but never leave them indifferent” have it right? Is having haters a way you know you’ve “arrived”?

And even more importantly, how do you handle it? What do you do when you are hated by a hater?

Do you try to turn it around, do you shut it down, or do you just pretend it never happened?

My experience has shown me certain people are worth the deep dive into a conversation to air out the differences in opinions, while others are not worth the time it takes to hit delete. But how do you know for sure?

Should you just take your mom’s advice and if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all?

Maria Ogneva from Yammer has an excellent post at Mashable with some great advice on the proper way to handle these situations and I’m pretty sure while she isn’t quite seeing it like Katt Williams, she does show you how to make some lemonade out of lemons…

Brands try to inspire excitement among their communities so that their fans and supporters will do the selling for them. That’s called advocacy, and it’s much more powerful than self-promotion. There are of course many ways to cultivate that fan base and get your advocates motivated

On the flip side, however, are “badvocates” –- the folks who spread negative comments about you with their networks. For example, Kevin Smith’s experience with Southwest Airlines.

It’s important for any business learn how to handle this badvocacy. To do so, you must first understand its causes.

Read more here…

Lori Taylor

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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Dave February 22, 2011 at 4:48 am

Lori, what a fantastic post! I loved the haters video even with all the bad words. LOL

And if you don’t mind, I’m going to steal this: Those same friends also know me well enough to not (ever) put me on their top 10 list of “bears you want to poke”.

I need to work on getting some haters. I’ve got plenty of people who are indifferent to me, but no haters (that I know of). 🙂

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Lori Taylor February 26, 2011 at 12:15 pm

You go right ahead. I’ve been in the direct response biz for 20 years – we consider it a compliment to be copied – means our stuff works! LOL. Thanks for sopping by Dave.

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Thea February 22, 2011 at 7:55 am

Great post! I always see the expression “Haters gonna hate.” Most of the time those haters lurk on your site. They often read everything you post so that they can think of a way to criticize you. These haters are actually people who can’t just seem to accept that sometimes you have a good point.

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Lori Taylor February 26, 2011 at 12:14 pm

I love this …

who can’t just seem to accept that sometimes you have a good point.

Great comment – thank you for stopping by! And I agree- I don’t mind tire kicking and pushing the envelope to make me think, but sometimes it’s just mean stuff!

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Warren Whitlock February 22, 2011 at 1:47 pm

A whole blog post is more time than I’d give all the haters put together.. and I’d not comment if it weren’t for wanting to show support for a great friend.

When I do succumb to investigating a hater, trolls attacking me or a friend, I find that they almost always hate more than one person… and the following comes to mind:

“If you have problems with so many people, it might be best to consider what one person is involved with each of them”

Not advice I share with the haters. Once they post their hate, they are generally not in the mood to listen. 🙂

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Lori Taylor February 26, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Thanks for stopping by Warren – I couldn’t agree more. This as sort of fun post as someone sent me that video and I thought – isn’t that the truth. If you have no haters you aren’t trying hard enough, or are too vanilla to make people think. You are one of my favorite tire kickers, so I appreciate you stopping by, friend. Looking forward to your new book!

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Brett Relander February 23, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Hi Lori,
I noticed your blog listed in the LinkedIn eMarketing Association group and thought I would check it out. Nice work!
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Lori Taylor February 26, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Thank you for stopping by! I love your stuff and I’ll definitely join.

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Zaira Rahman February 25, 2011 at 3:39 am

This is a great post. I can so relate to what you have written. It is sometimes really hard to let go off the silliness and the weird response that one gets when our main goal is to spread the message across and some people try to damage what we are trying to do.

I am very indifferent about these things. For me such people don’t exist at all although they try hard to make my day bad. But I don’t let them win!

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Lori Taylor February 26, 2011 at 8:31 pm

Good for you. Haters aren’t just for online exchanges either. Today I was driving, in no hurry, behind a car, not riding his ass or anything, and he started randomly flipping me off every minute or so. It was hilarious. At first i felt angry, then I started laughing. And realized that’s who the haters online are – people you don’t know, who just “drive by’ to spew their nastiness. We SHOULD ignore them! Have a great weekend.

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Karen Cunningham August 21, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Haha, I drive a school bus and you should see some of the gestures I’m given! The best thing to do is just laugh at them and wish them a good day. They obviously have other issues and it’s just spilling over into their driving.

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Janie February 25, 2011 at 9:36 pm

Sometimes I just ignore the haters. But when they tend to give foul comments, I can’t help but return the nasty attitude.

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Lori Taylor March 6, 2011 at 3:35 pm

I know it’s unfortunately contagious – it’s sad to hate so much you spam people who are trying to write or connect with nasty energy. Thanks for stopping by!

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Laura N. March 4, 2011 at 8:13 pm

This post was great! I, too, run into these haters every once in awhile. The thing about online haters is that over 90% of them are too cowardly to actually say something like that to your face! The power of the internet, eh? 🙂

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Lori Taylor March 6, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Isn’t that the truth? I worked for large company for 17 years and we had to work with many people who were would never meet via email. It was funny when I’d get a nasty gram – I’d pick up the phone to “discuss” – didn’t take long for the email haters to think twice before poking the bear. LOL. Most people like to avoid confrontation. 🙂

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naomi March 12, 2011 at 1:56 am

Don’t worry about it, Lori. There’s always going to be haters out there, especially if you are successful! And you’re right – when I worked in customer service for a SEO company that service clients worldwide – whenever I called them they would actually sound friendly even though their emails were aggressive!

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Lori Taylor March 15, 2011 at 8:46 am

I know – people will hide behind emails. I found just listening on phone and acknowledging frustration BEFORE I respond – and asking tons of question to get them to tell me what’s REALLY wrong is the key to great customer relationships.

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Baranoww August 23, 2011 at 2:24 am

I got called a “dumbass” on YouTube, the other day. I was SO proud!

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